A new schedule- no matter how fantastic- requires an adjustment period. As excited as I was for my traditional work hours, I knew it would take a little time for us to get in a groove.
We are learning to make room for the “Me Time” and “Layla and Me Time” that is no longer built into our schedule. Layla is adjusting to school five days a week instead of just three or four.
The gives and takes in our family dynamic are changing and expectations and roles are being adjusted. We no longer must function as single parents and are learning to parent together- at the same time.
Days off as a family are no longer rare and no longer have to be treated as national holidays (although definitely should be from time to time).
We have Friday Fun Night where we've built a little social hour. Reason number 999 we love Fort Collins: any given Friday you can visit a local brewery and find a blue grass band or a fire pit, have a drink with work friends and let Layla dance her heart out to a string band or hula-hoop with Otters and still be home by seven.
We have dinner every night and free time to spend as a family each and every evening. We are no longer ships passing in the night.
So now we get to think more about routines and what we want that free time to look like.
Unfortunately one routine has developed that is no fun at all. A daily request to watch a movie and the ensuing battle when we say no. I am not against giving Layla screen time. Sometimes it seems the only way to get things done or have an adult conversation. I fully admit she is currently watching Sesame Street while I write this blog entry.
We just don't want her to be in front of a screen all the time.
And it's not just movies. It's the TV her parents watch, the iPad, the Kindle, it can be all consuming. And so we try to limit and this results in many tear filled evenings when you start to wonder if a mermaid movie is really worse than tantrums and being sent to her room to cry it out- not the "family time" we envision.
It begins the moment she is picked up from daycare.To postpone the fit, and give us a fighting chance to distract her with other activities, we started saying things like, "we'll talk about it when we get home."
Then she upped the ante. Asking first thing in the morning, and I'm talking eyes not even open yet, we tried the same techniques. The stalling worked for awhile, but just like a velociraptor that learns to open doors, she learned to change her tactic. Instead of asking to watch a movie when we get home she changed it to "let's talk about watching a movie tonight." Clever girl. Stalling was the best we'd come up with so I had to call in an expert.
I'm very lucky. I have a super nanny on retainer. My mom has spent her entire adult life in the world of early childhood. She is a toddler specialist and she should really start her own blog, coming to the rescue of parents everywhere.
After discussing the particulars, my mom came up with the plan. I was willing to it try but was skeptical it would work. Because, let's face it, even if she is the expert, when you've reached the point you are asking for parental advice from your mom, you already believe there is no hope.
The prescription: A dry erase board.
Together Layla and I sat down with our new magnetic board and she watched as I wrote the days of the week across the top. Then I let her pick two days to designate as 'movie' nights. One day to pick as Kindle night, 10 book night, game night, music night on Friday, etc. We even included crude drawings since she's three and not quite reading and all. We put the board on the refrigerator at toddler eye level. She was into it, but I still had my doubts.
The very next morning Layla asked to watch a movie that night and I said, "well, let's check the board! Is it movie night? Nope! It's book night! You chose Wednesday and Thursday for movies."
Folks? She was fine with this explanation. That was three weeks ago. The board is magic. The board is the enforcer. And by letting her choose the days, it gives her power. It helps us as a family too- less tears equals better time together and I bet if you gave Layla the choice tonight, she'd rather play Candy Land with her parents than watch Sleeping Beauty but for now I'll stick with whatever the board says.
Thanks mom. Now if you can just figure out the whole sleeping thing for us too.
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